Spa and chips
This break was part of the many we won in 2009, it was from Spirit & Destiny online; the magazine certainly lived up to its name that year. Like most of the holidays we won this piece of wonderful news arrived through the post in an unassuming white envelope. We had won two nights in The Cambrian Hotel, Adelboden with a full body massage each, thrown in for good measure. The only downside and I’m not complaining, was we had to find our own flights. This meant we had to fly from Liverpool to Geneva, which we have done numerous times, then get two trains then a bus up the mountain to Adelboden. So we arranged everything with Spirit & Destiny and booked our flights and train tickets online, a couple of weeks later and we were ready to go.
The day arrived and it was another early start, and as usual we hoped it was going to be a quiet taxi driver that took us to the airport; I don’t know why we think this because they're all programmed to ask you where you’re going with no intention of listening, and proceed to tell you their life story. Finally we to the airport, check in our bags, take off and before you know it, we’re there, in beautiful Switzerland.
After disembarking we go to pick up our bags and in the distance is some, what can only be described as a 1970’s German porn star, was throwing Trish’s bag off the carousel. I wasn't having any of that so as he grabs his bag and walks towards me, I do my drunken sailor impression and send him flying towards the car rental desk; he doesn’t say anything, “All mouth and no trousers", pretty apt for a German porn star, we now call this the “Geneva bump”. After we eventually get our bags, it off to the rail station, which is very handy as it’s in the airport and only about a five to ten minute walk, now the adventure begins.
Looking up at the board we now have to find our train to Bern because we decided to spend the day and night there so it would give us two full days in Adelboden. After looking at a timetable and finding the platform, the Bern train pulls into the station at the precise time, we duly get on and yes it’s true, they do run on time and like clockwork and it leaves at the exact time. The train makes it way around Lake Geneva, then proceeds to hurtle through the chocolate box scenery that Switzerland serves up before our eyes, before entering the suburbs and ultimately Bern station.
We get off the train and head towards the hotel, armed with printouts from Google maps with directions on. These directions serve us well because we find the Hotel National Bern, quite easy, ten minutes from the station, things are going well. We enter the hotel and present the receptionist with our booking reference and the obligatory passports. After much gurning and tapping away on the keyboard, she turns round and tells us there’s no record of the booking on the system. Well we know we’ve booked because we spent enough time researching it online and my American Express statement says paid, but no, she’s not having it. It turns out that the travel firm "Gulliver’s travels" was a con, they take the money and leave people stranded, we were lucky though I just paid again with the Amex card and they refunded the money when we got home and we stayed the night. It wasn’t a particularly good hotel, the noise from the square down below was terrible and there was loads of noise coming from the adjoining rooms, hope this isn’t a sign of things to come.
We dump the bags in the hotel and go and explore the city, the old town is beautiful a bit like Florence but only smaller and less crowded. We saw were Einstein used to live, had a walk down by the river and back through the old streets ready for something to eat. Don’t know what was going on, because all the restaurants were closing early and we had not been fed. So we continued to look for somewhere, walking down the main street, past the nuns helping the ladies of the night and into the last chance saloon “McDonalds”. We ended up coming out still hungry and clutching four Coca-Cola promotional glasses, which we had to abandon further down the street because we didn’t want to take them on our trip; at least they came in handy for the local street connoisseurs of wine and cider.
The next day we are up early, had breakfast and started the next leg of our train journey early, once again the countryside doesn’t disappoint and only gets better when we arrive in Spiez and get off for a thirty minute wait and walk out of the station. What lies before is a magnificent vista of Lake Thun, the castle and the backdrop of the Alps. After marveling and thirst quenched with what Trish described as “the best water in the world”, we resume our second leg to Adelboden via Frutigen station, where we alight and board the waiting bus. The bus takes about an hour and winds its way up the side of a very steep mountain, (those with a nervous disposition should sit in the aisle seat) and drops you off outside the bus depot in town.
Five minutes up the steep road, we check in to the hotel and are asked when we would like our massages, given the key and directions to the room. Once in the room we go out onto the balcony and look at the stunning view of the mountains and meadow as far as the eye can see. The room is beautiful with all the mod cons a five star hotel has to offer; now we just need lunch.
As everyone who knows us, Trish and I are very fussy about where we eat and we usually take ages to find somewhere. This time we walked into town and settled on a typical Swiss hostelry, where we spent about thirty minutes deciding what to have, we did order drinks first though. I had chicken in breadcrumbs and Trish had raclette, and as we were hungry, both decided to get a portion of chips each, what a mistake, it was the biggest bowl of chips you will ever see, times two!!! After another beer or two, sitting out in the pure Swiss air, we finished our mains and half a bowl of chips and decided to have a walk through the town.
The town had a lovely charm about it, old church, old wooden buildings, many restaurants and bars and tucked behind the fire station was a cable car to the snow less mountain. This could wait till tomorrow, first we had to find a supermarket to get some wine, just to toast Switzerland, like we do everywhere we go. We find the supermarket and spend ages looking around; I love foreign supermarkets with all their weird foods and then find the wine section. Now with this being Switzerland it was pricey, but this being Switzerland and up a very steep mountain it was outrageous; however, as we usually say, “sod it, we’re on our holidays” and buy it anyway. Armed with liquid gold and giant bag of crisps (why is it, only in the UK can buy small bags of crisps?) we tackle the vertical road to the hotel, this time we are loaded up on chips which doesn’t help on bit.
Back in the room, we sit on the balcony and crack open one of the prized wines and thank the universe for our good fortune. This being Switzerland the weather changes quite rapidly and it goes all dark and moody, in the distance you can see farmers houses dotted about, lights twinkling, even better if you have brought your binoculars (both won as prizes too). We decide to get ready and go out for the evening, this time we are going to have something light.
Outside the hotel, surrounded by the mountains it’s a weird feeling, almost claustrophobic, you’ll know what I mean if you’ve been to an alpine resort. We make our way down the hill to town and have a look around; the town has now taken on a different character with lights coming from the bars and restaurants and the ornate lamp posts amid the mist covered mountain on all sides. That evening we had a light tea, but being in the Alps this was still a hearty meal washed down with a couple of beers. After a stroll around town we decided to go back to the hotel and have a nightcap before turning in, that Swiss air certainly does something to you.
The next day was massage day, Trish put on her bathing costume and I put on my Adidas short followed by a bright white fluffy robe, which made us look like a pair of tumbled dried polar bears. We took the lift down to the basement and introduced ourselves to the polite receptionist, whom we would bump into later that evening and where shown to the treatment room. We lay down on the table and got comfortable before the masseurs got to work on our weary bodies, I had more knots than a 100 year old oak tree. They started off slowly massaging the Sodashi oils into our arms and worked down our bodies to the legs, occasionally whispering to see if we were ok; I think Trish nearly fell asleep a few times it was that relaxing. An hour and few litres of oil later, a minute before we were told to open our eyes, our faces were sprinkled with what can only be described as orange smelling magical fairy dust. That was it, an hour later and our bodies had been totally transformed and ready for whatever the world was going to throw at us.
We decided to check out the indoor swimming pool, well Trish did, I can’t swim, and to our amazement it was empty. Trish did a few lengths then we went outside to the outdoor heated pool, with water jets that wouldn’t be out of place on a fire engine. We sat in the pool for twenty minutes and decided to get out, to my horror and Trish’s merriment my short blew up like a hot air balloon with the vacuum from the water, and made me walk like John Wayne till they emptied.
We got changed and went back out into town and check out the cable car to see where it went when there is no snow around. We paid our money and jumped in and watched the town below us disappear very quickly as we climbed higher and higher. At the top, the door flew open and we jumped out of the swinging, fast moving cable car and out of the station to nothing. Adelboden is a ski resort frequented by thousands in the winter, in August there’s only thousands of flies attacking you. We walked up to a solitary bench and looked out over the town, turned around looked at the many pathways round the mountains and called it a day. After another hearty luncheon we headed back to the hotel and into the outdoor pool for a couple of hours, watching the clouds coming over and turning dark again.
That evening we went out to one of the restaurants and once again tried to order something light, not a chance. So we had something to eat and a few drinks and one last walk around the town before heading back to the hotel. On the way back to the hotel we bumped into the Spa receptionist who was a little worse for wear, don’t know how at Swiss prices. She stopped us and told us her life story and sometimes in song, after about thirty minutes she bid us farewell and disappeared into the night.
We eventually got back to the hotel and decided to have a few games of pool in the deserted hotel that now resembled something from “The shining” with the odd ghostly waiter popping up now and again. I nipped up to the room and brought down the last of our prized wine and drank it while attempting to play the so called pool. Once we’d exhausted the wine and got fed up with the pool we returned to the room for a good night’s sleep now we were knot free and shiny.
The next day we had our breakfast and returned to the room to do the packing ritual that is so hated by anyone who never wants to go home. We had one last look at the beautiful view from the room, checked everywhere at least twice in case we’d left something and went down to check out. Whilst we were in the lobby waiting to check out, the Spa receptionist came walking past very sheepishly, head down and straight into staff quarters. So then it was back on the bus, down the daunting mountain and on to the train, this time we were changing somewhere else that was unpronounceable as it was remarkable. We decided before we got back to Geneva we’ll stop at Lausanne and have a look round, what a waste of time that was. A beautifully named city ruined by beggars and gangs that made you want to go back to the wonderful city of Geneva right away. No more stops now till the airport, and feeling deflated for having to come home, we weren’t in the mood to get off anymore anyway.
Once in the airport Trish decides to go and get some cash out the ATM which is located in the baggage hall below. I saw her going down the escalator and that was the last time I saw her for about an hour, I kept wondering where she had gone because the plane was due to board in thirty minutes. I traced her steps and nothing, no sign of her, so I go back up and think she might be by the gate. I make my way along the travellator and who do I see coming the other way, Trish doing her impression of Usain Bolt. After much faffing about, we are reunited and Trish swears she will never go anywhere alone she hasn’t been before, so that's that then.
The day arrived and it was another early start, and as usual we hoped it was going to be a quiet taxi driver that took us to the airport; I don’t know why we think this because they're all programmed to ask you where you’re going with no intention of listening, and proceed to tell you their life story. Finally we to the airport, check in our bags, take off and before you know it, we’re there, in beautiful Switzerland.
After disembarking we go to pick up our bags and in the distance is some, what can only be described as a 1970’s German porn star, was throwing Trish’s bag off the carousel. I wasn't having any of that so as he grabs his bag and walks towards me, I do my drunken sailor impression and send him flying towards the car rental desk; he doesn’t say anything, “All mouth and no trousers", pretty apt for a German porn star, we now call this the “Geneva bump”. After we eventually get our bags, it off to the rail station, which is very handy as it’s in the airport and only about a five to ten minute walk, now the adventure begins.
Looking up at the board we now have to find our train to Bern because we decided to spend the day and night there so it would give us two full days in Adelboden. After looking at a timetable and finding the platform, the Bern train pulls into the station at the precise time, we duly get on and yes it’s true, they do run on time and like clockwork and it leaves at the exact time. The train makes it way around Lake Geneva, then proceeds to hurtle through the chocolate box scenery that Switzerland serves up before our eyes, before entering the suburbs and ultimately Bern station.
We get off the train and head towards the hotel, armed with printouts from Google maps with directions on. These directions serve us well because we find the Hotel National Bern, quite easy, ten minutes from the station, things are going well. We enter the hotel and present the receptionist with our booking reference and the obligatory passports. After much gurning and tapping away on the keyboard, she turns round and tells us there’s no record of the booking on the system. Well we know we’ve booked because we spent enough time researching it online and my American Express statement says paid, but no, she’s not having it. It turns out that the travel firm "Gulliver’s travels" was a con, they take the money and leave people stranded, we were lucky though I just paid again with the Amex card and they refunded the money when we got home and we stayed the night. It wasn’t a particularly good hotel, the noise from the square down below was terrible and there was loads of noise coming from the adjoining rooms, hope this isn’t a sign of things to come.
We dump the bags in the hotel and go and explore the city, the old town is beautiful a bit like Florence but only smaller and less crowded. We saw were Einstein used to live, had a walk down by the river and back through the old streets ready for something to eat. Don’t know what was going on, because all the restaurants were closing early and we had not been fed. So we continued to look for somewhere, walking down the main street, past the nuns helping the ladies of the night and into the last chance saloon “McDonalds”. We ended up coming out still hungry and clutching four Coca-Cola promotional glasses, which we had to abandon further down the street because we didn’t want to take them on our trip; at least they came in handy for the local street connoisseurs of wine and cider.
The next day we are up early, had breakfast and started the next leg of our train journey early, once again the countryside doesn’t disappoint and only gets better when we arrive in Spiez and get off for a thirty minute wait and walk out of the station. What lies before is a magnificent vista of Lake Thun, the castle and the backdrop of the Alps. After marveling and thirst quenched with what Trish described as “the best water in the world”, we resume our second leg to Adelboden via Frutigen station, where we alight and board the waiting bus. The bus takes about an hour and winds its way up the side of a very steep mountain, (those with a nervous disposition should sit in the aisle seat) and drops you off outside the bus depot in town.
Five minutes up the steep road, we check in to the hotel and are asked when we would like our massages, given the key and directions to the room. Once in the room we go out onto the balcony and look at the stunning view of the mountains and meadow as far as the eye can see. The room is beautiful with all the mod cons a five star hotel has to offer; now we just need lunch.
As everyone who knows us, Trish and I are very fussy about where we eat and we usually take ages to find somewhere. This time we walked into town and settled on a typical Swiss hostelry, where we spent about thirty minutes deciding what to have, we did order drinks first though. I had chicken in breadcrumbs and Trish had raclette, and as we were hungry, both decided to get a portion of chips each, what a mistake, it was the biggest bowl of chips you will ever see, times two!!! After another beer or two, sitting out in the pure Swiss air, we finished our mains and half a bowl of chips and decided to have a walk through the town.
The town had a lovely charm about it, old church, old wooden buildings, many restaurants and bars and tucked behind the fire station was a cable car to the snow less mountain. This could wait till tomorrow, first we had to find a supermarket to get some wine, just to toast Switzerland, like we do everywhere we go. We find the supermarket and spend ages looking around; I love foreign supermarkets with all their weird foods and then find the wine section. Now with this being Switzerland it was pricey, but this being Switzerland and up a very steep mountain it was outrageous; however, as we usually say, “sod it, we’re on our holidays” and buy it anyway. Armed with liquid gold and giant bag of crisps (why is it, only in the UK can buy small bags of crisps?) we tackle the vertical road to the hotel, this time we are loaded up on chips which doesn’t help on bit.
Back in the room, we sit on the balcony and crack open one of the prized wines and thank the universe for our good fortune. This being Switzerland the weather changes quite rapidly and it goes all dark and moody, in the distance you can see farmers houses dotted about, lights twinkling, even better if you have brought your binoculars (both won as prizes too). We decide to get ready and go out for the evening, this time we are going to have something light.
Outside the hotel, surrounded by the mountains it’s a weird feeling, almost claustrophobic, you’ll know what I mean if you’ve been to an alpine resort. We make our way down the hill to town and have a look around; the town has now taken on a different character with lights coming from the bars and restaurants and the ornate lamp posts amid the mist covered mountain on all sides. That evening we had a light tea, but being in the Alps this was still a hearty meal washed down with a couple of beers. After a stroll around town we decided to go back to the hotel and have a nightcap before turning in, that Swiss air certainly does something to you.
The next day was massage day, Trish put on her bathing costume and I put on my Adidas short followed by a bright white fluffy robe, which made us look like a pair of tumbled dried polar bears. We took the lift down to the basement and introduced ourselves to the polite receptionist, whom we would bump into later that evening and where shown to the treatment room. We lay down on the table and got comfortable before the masseurs got to work on our weary bodies, I had more knots than a 100 year old oak tree. They started off slowly massaging the Sodashi oils into our arms and worked down our bodies to the legs, occasionally whispering to see if we were ok; I think Trish nearly fell asleep a few times it was that relaxing. An hour and few litres of oil later, a minute before we were told to open our eyes, our faces were sprinkled with what can only be described as orange smelling magical fairy dust. That was it, an hour later and our bodies had been totally transformed and ready for whatever the world was going to throw at us.
We decided to check out the indoor swimming pool, well Trish did, I can’t swim, and to our amazement it was empty. Trish did a few lengths then we went outside to the outdoor heated pool, with water jets that wouldn’t be out of place on a fire engine. We sat in the pool for twenty minutes and decided to get out, to my horror and Trish’s merriment my short blew up like a hot air balloon with the vacuum from the water, and made me walk like John Wayne till they emptied.
We got changed and went back out into town and check out the cable car to see where it went when there is no snow around. We paid our money and jumped in and watched the town below us disappear very quickly as we climbed higher and higher. At the top, the door flew open and we jumped out of the swinging, fast moving cable car and out of the station to nothing. Adelboden is a ski resort frequented by thousands in the winter, in August there’s only thousands of flies attacking you. We walked up to a solitary bench and looked out over the town, turned around looked at the many pathways round the mountains and called it a day. After another hearty luncheon we headed back to the hotel and into the outdoor pool for a couple of hours, watching the clouds coming over and turning dark again.
That evening we went out to one of the restaurants and once again tried to order something light, not a chance. So we had something to eat and a few drinks and one last walk around the town before heading back to the hotel. On the way back to the hotel we bumped into the Spa receptionist who was a little worse for wear, don’t know how at Swiss prices. She stopped us and told us her life story and sometimes in song, after about thirty minutes she bid us farewell and disappeared into the night.
We eventually got back to the hotel and decided to have a few games of pool in the deserted hotel that now resembled something from “The shining” with the odd ghostly waiter popping up now and again. I nipped up to the room and brought down the last of our prized wine and drank it while attempting to play the so called pool. Once we’d exhausted the wine and got fed up with the pool we returned to the room for a good night’s sleep now we were knot free and shiny.
The next day we had our breakfast and returned to the room to do the packing ritual that is so hated by anyone who never wants to go home. We had one last look at the beautiful view from the room, checked everywhere at least twice in case we’d left something and went down to check out. Whilst we were in the lobby waiting to check out, the Spa receptionist came walking past very sheepishly, head down and straight into staff quarters. So then it was back on the bus, down the daunting mountain and on to the train, this time we were changing somewhere else that was unpronounceable as it was remarkable. We decided before we got back to Geneva we’ll stop at Lausanne and have a look round, what a waste of time that was. A beautifully named city ruined by beggars and gangs that made you want to go back to the wonderful city of Geneva right away. No more stops now till the airport, and feeling deflated for having to come home, we weren’t in the mood to get off anymore anyway.
Once in the airport Trish decides to go and get some cash out the ATM which is located in the baggage hall below. I saw her going down the escalator and that was the last time I saw her for about an hour, I kept wondering where she had gone because the plane was due to board in thirty minutes. I traced her steps and nothing, no sign of her, so I go back up and think she might be by the gate. I make my way along the travellator and who do I see coming the other way, Trish doing her impression of Usain Bolt. After much faffing about, we are reunited and Trish swears she will never go anywhere alone she hasn’t been before, so that's that then.
Ha ha, and I wont either. That was the scariest moment, I was crying like a 5 year old lost in the airport :(
ReplyDelete